Keeping it real...

I’m in a van, what a surprise! I am on an all day trip to get to the border of Thailand and Malaysia to renew my Thai visa. Sounds like fun eh’!?! Get out, get stamped out of Thailand, walk a few meters, get stamped into Malaysia, then stamped out, then stamped back into Thailand. Ridiculous, I know! Anyway, the driver is going way too fast around these curves and Thai music is blaring in my ear. But I can’t complain, I am spending this sweltering day in an air-conditioned van, and that in itself is a little treat after the last few days in the hot sun and in our sauna of a room! I don’t know how many hours I have clocked on public transportation over the past 3.5 months, but it is a lot! You don’t end up in a new town every few days without paying your dues to buses, songtaows, motor bikes, taxis, and tuktuks!

So I have been backpacking in SE Asia for 3.5 months now. I have been to Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, the Philippines, and I just bought my ticket to Vietnam for August 2^nd. What an adventure it has been! I have lived out of my backpack, slept in some amazing and some not so amazing places, met some interesting people and some not-so-right-in-the-head people, seen the world, eaten some delicious food, and I have found my way through Asia with my best friend! Pretty awesome when you look at it like that huh!!??... or I guess it’s actually pretty awesome no matter which way you look at it!

I am all too aware that it is neither fair nor deserved, but I am one of the lucky ones for this moment, so I am going to live it up. J All the while, never growing numb to how amazing it is and never forgetting that there are suffering and struggling people in the world. It doesn’t affect me lightly that my life is great, amazing, colorful, fun, and interesting, and that a lot of people cannot even use the word “good or decent” to describe their lives. I have teetered between feeling guilty and feeling blessed throughout my entire adult life, including while traveling. I will never feel at peace that I am the way I am because of where I was born, but I have come to a healthy point in which I can acknowledge the disparity and injustice in the world and still live my own life respectfully and humbly. But still, over the past week I have been wondering when enough is enough, or enough is maybe too much…? Am I having more fun and more experiences than I deserve?

M y wonderful friends here recently reminded me that I am spending WAAAY less money per day here on this “holiday” (alternate lifestyle) than I would be on an average, simple life in the US. My $20/day here equals $600/month. I can’t pay rent and still have a life and eat or drive anywhere on $600/month back in the US. And when I think of it that way, I realize that I am not living some extreme, selfish, indulgent life here… I am living on a tight budget, taking the worst possible modes of transportation just to save a buck, staying in the cheapest accommodations with mold, dirt, bugs, and rodents, eating food from street stalls for a dollar, and quite realistically, living a life closer to the way most people in the world live (minus a few of the extra fun things like scuba diving, site seeing, and rock climbing of course). My skin is visibly dirty, my clothes are incredibly soiled, and my hair is literally falling out for some weird unknown reason. But, I LOVE IT ALL!

So as my trip is coming to the last month or so, I remind myself to keep enjoying every day for what it is. I soak in the people and the cultures, and know that I am changed by this experience. I will always be thankful for the opportunity I have to be here, but will no longer feel guilty that all my friends, family, and struggling people in the word are not in my shoes.

So, with one very full passport and only 3 more hours left on this air conditioned van, I’m ready to clear my mind, pop in my head phones, close my eyes, and remember that I am in THAILAND BABY, theres an elephant walking down the street, and tomorrow, I am heading to my most awaited destination yet… Rai-lay….

To be continued…

Beaches, friends, and shananagans in thailand...

The sun is hot, and I'm pretty sure I have a mild sun stroke going on. I have, what like to call, barnacles all over my arms!!! They are tiny water blisters from too much time under the warm rays! But, a girls gotta pay some price for life on the beach, right!? So, I am now avoiding the sun at all costs for a few days! :)

After saying goodbye to the Perhentians, Alicia and I hopped an overnight bus to the west coast of Malaysia and met back up with Leah. We were headed for Thailand again, we just could not stay away from the great beaches and low cost of living here! This time… the islands in the west! After an overnight bus and an interesting border crossing which involved hitchhiking our way into the nearest city, and a few other modes of transportation, we arrived in Ko Lanta.

We arrived after sun fall. Normally this is not a problem, and we find accommodation pretty easily, but since Ko Lanta was in the off season, most of the places were closed. After a long and unsuccessful walk on the beach, with our backpacks weighing on us, we were about to give up and sleep there on the beach… when in a last ditch effort we walked up to the road and found a decent place that would make due for the night at least. The next day we managed to rent a whole tuk tuk (motor bike with a side car) and take it for a spin around the island. The tuk tuk did us well, but could not reach the end of the island that we wanted to get to due to the steep hills. Leah and Alicia did some pushing on a few of the hills that proved difficult for our vehicle, hills that actually turned us sideways on the road when trying to climb them in first gear!!! It was still the perfect day and night!

And because of the tuk tuk we found the accommodation we had been hoping for- a simple native bungalow right on the beach, at a place called Sanctuary. The bungalow was my favorite accommodation yet, due to the fact that the bathroom was open to air, and natural, and the view of the beach from the hammock on our front porch was perfection!

Ko Lanta is in the low season now because the water is rough and boughs of rain come through. But, we were ok with the thought of lower prices and less tourists for a few days. We managed to make a good time out of the deserted place, and loved it for what it was! 3 fun ladies in a semi-deserted beach town = a lot of creative, stupid, but priceless fun!


Time to move on from the deserted and peaceful island of ko lanta, and we ended up here in Ao Nang. Ao nang is a refreshing change for us… it is still the low season, meaning that restaurants (heaps of delish indian food!), diving (off of one of the most amazing sites ever), and accommodations (clean but very hot bungalow) are all super discounted, but there are still plenty of people around and everywhere is still open! Just what we needed after the lonely island of Ko Lanta. Ao Nang was supposedly just a place for us to catch a little boat to Railey, where we had planned to do some rock climbing, but we liked this semi touristy, family oriented town so much, that we just decided to stay for a few days.




Leah, Alicia and I did 2 amazing dives off of a nearby island called Ko Phi Phi. Phi Phi is a little too expensive for us to stay, but it is astounding, and is where the movie “The Beach,” with Leonardo Dicaprio, was filmed. The diving was freaking amaaaaaazing and the scenery above water was stunning too. If only “the beach” really existed, then maybe I would join the commune and stay forever!! ;)

Paradise on a Penny

I’m in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with my friend Alicia. We don’t know where we want to go next, but a few minutes with a Lonely Planet book and a map give us a few ideas. We decide on an island called Tioman, in the southeast. We get directions to the bus terminal that went to Tioman (we thought). We walk our butts all the way there, tired and sweaty, we throw our bags down and I go off to look for a ticket. Turns out, we are at the station that goes north… so if we want to continue with our basically spur of the moment plans for Tioman, then we have to trek our butts to another terminal on the other side of the city. But instead, we just choose a destination marked on the bus company’s windows. Redang it is! The only glitch in our plan is- we know nothing about Redang!! Its not in the book, but the pics look beautiful and we know that we have a nearby backup, should Redang not be backpacker friendly. Alicia and I kill about 6 hours in an indoor amusement park (our last treat before leaving the modern metropolis of KL) and then sleep the night away on a cozy overnight bus. Sadly, our plans for Redang turn out to be a bust, so we head to a guaranteed good time on the Perhentian Islands. And there you have it friends, an example of how all plans are made and most places are visited... random chance plus a little luck, and there you have it… you are in paradise!!!

Imagine this- you take this little speed boat to some islands off of Malaysia called the Perhentians. We are heading to the “small island”. The speed boat pulls up to the island, and we transfer to a smaller water taxi boat that will take us straight to the beach. Long beach that is. No need for a road here, water taxis are how you get to another island or beach and the dive shops, restaurants, and bungalows are lined up on the short white sand beach. We literally find the cheapest accommodation on the beach, a little bungalow for 25 ringgit a night, (about $4 each), located less than a minutes walk from the crystal clear ocean. We throw down our bags, and head out for our first night on the Perhentians! This means walking down the beach a few meters and landing at one of the 2 open air wooden shacks that are the island bars. We have a seat on some mats on the sand, order up a mint shisha, stare at the stars, enjoy some fire twirling, and wonder how we got so lucky.

The next day Alicia will start her Open water dive cert, and I will start my Advanced dive cert. For the next 5 days my life would alternate between diving, hanging out at the dive shop, eating, swimming, perhaps a jump or two off the lighthouse, and sitting on the beach or our front porch at night!

Mostly, we were avoiding our room at all costs. Being a broke backpacker in paradise comes at a cost, you can’t have everything for the price of nothing. So, although our bungalow is suitable, it is not the fanciest thing in the world, with its rotting wood and huge cracks in the floor, no lights, kinda damp mattress, smelly mosquito net, 4 foot monitor lizards wandering the area, a moldy shared bathroom that is a farther walk than the beach is, and a hot tin roof that turns the room into a sauna during the day! Think a fan might help!? The island is run on generators, so electricity is only available from 7pm-7am, but this isn’t the regular kind of electricity… this is the backpackers version of electricity; our fan was not connected to an outlet, no, it was messily attached to other wires running through the rest of the bungalows and all into one outlet from an extension cord located about 100 meters away! Basically the dodgiest electric current you can imagine! So before you get too jealous of our paradise for a tiny price, tell me if you could handle that!?! ;)

Bye Philippines... see you again, sooner rather than later!

Im on a plane, from Cagayan to Manila, eating a Tender Juicy hotdog wrapped in a waffle! The flight attendants are playing a trivia game with the passengers over the loudspeaker, and while boarding they were playing hip hop music… this is really the Philippines! Gotta love it.

Six amazing Filipino women just dropped me off at the airport, six women who took such good care of me, laughed with me, showed me their love over the past 3 weeks, and who made my heart smile with the knowledge that I have them in my life. But its not just these six women, who happen to be my closest friends here, it was the whole of CH who I felt the love from. Even for those with whom words have never been our form of communication due to a language barrier, I am so thankful to still feel the deep connection and care between us after so long!!! (words and talking are so over rated sometimes).

Last week I finally had numerous days at the CH campus in Tu-od, just living and hanging out with the staff and kids! It was perfect, chillin in the nipa hut under the mango tree, cooking and eating some of my favorite foods, laughing with the kids, making a run to the market, eating roasted pig at a neighbor’s birthday party, ect. The kids were so much fun and it was great to meet the newest CH kids, at the home now just 2 weeks from the streets. The college students have grown and matured and I had a wonderful time hanging with them in their house in the city too!

I spent some of this week taking a “vacation” (vacation for the others involved- but lets be honest, its just normal life for me!) to Davao, a city about 8 hours from Tuod with the other singles/ childless staff, 10 of us all together. I taught them a little about backpacking, as we found a different place each night, lived on a small budget, and didn’t worry about time! Good conversations, uproarious laughter, fresh fish, fresh fruit, live music, crocodile farm, native jewelry, overnight at the beach, fresh air… it was a goooood time! J

Overall the Philippines treated me well. It was an amazing time to catch up with friends and take a break from backpacking. I appreciate my memories from there, and will surely miss it again. But, one of the reasons I did not save the Philippines for my last stop before coming home was because I didn’t want to go home in the mental state that I now find myself in. PH was not just a vacation destination for me a few years ago, and going back involves more than just laughing and fun in a few ways. The relationships and friendships there are not simple, and the feelings, ideas, and desires to someday have more involvement in the Philippines again are rampant… like I said in my first PH blog, who knows what the future will hold for all my wild ideas, but for now I am not meant to be in the Philippines long term.

If I end up going home at the end of August then it means I am now in the last half of my trip. The end of August seems far away, but at the same time, so close! I am hoping to go back to the states refreshed and with a clear mind. This is now my ultimate goal of the rest of my travels. I literally have sooo many options for what I will do when I go back, and they all sound appealing. I want to go back to my old job in the PICU and live near my family and friends in Virginia beach, but I also want to try travel nursing, I want to live in New York City, I want to do Doctors Without Borders, I want to work in oncology, I want to work in a fancy resort hospital in India, and that’s just scratching the surface regarding only my career… none of which can be done simultaneously. Usually in my life, when it comes time to make a big decision, it is very clear to me. I him and hull over it, and consider everything, and feel torn, but I always have a stronger feeling about one thing. There is one opportunity that I never thought of before, that is speaking to me right now... and I just have to wait and see what will happen in the next few weeks! Until then, working it out and still livin it up baby!!! :0

Isa Encanto Lang! (One white lady...)

I have a total of 3 weeks here in the Philippines, and I only have less than a week left! The time has flown by! I have had my busy days, going to and from Cagayan de Oro, Iligan, Palawan, and Tuod, but I have also enjoyed a few days of just hanging here in the campus, not really doing all that much. I have been having the most wonderful nights sleep in my old room!!! I have been traveling for more than 2 months now, and sleeping in some not so nice or comfortable places, so coming here was like going home in a way!

I am surprised at how familiar things are to me here. Time and production move more slowly here than in the western world. So when I came back it should not be a surprise to see construction still in progress on the road from CDO to Iligan, the weekly schedule of CH transactions remains the same, the Lagundingan “international airport” is still just a road, the pharmacists recognized me and asked me if I would like to buy Hepsera again… I remembered all the names of the towns on the 1.5 hour drive from CDO to Tuod, and I still know a lot of the Cebuano words that I have not heard, said, or thought about for 2 years, but they flowed from my mouth like I never left! Chika-chika (casual talking) with the staff and kids, eating my favorite fresh pineapple bread from Basic Knead, sending Johnmar to the neighbors house for a coconut so that I can put fresh gata (coconut milk) in dinner, hugging a kid when they are crying, laughing at the little boys singing and dancing at night, walking on the dirt road to church on Sunday morning, even the power going out (brown out) in the first 15 minutes of church and proceeding anyway, and going behind the house to pick some Mulungai leaves for soup… these things are all so comforting.

But quite honestly, I forgot about a few intricacies of life here… like being a white woman in Mindanao. This mainly just means that I am stared at and talked about when minding my own business and doing fairly normal activities! It means that everyone in the city wants to know my name, why I am here, where I am from, if I am single, why I am single, and then wants to take a picture of me! The people in Manticao and Tuod (where I lived before) did not forget me, and all feel the need to comment about my return visit, change in my look, ect. It continues to be an incredible feeling to be such a minority again, something that I got used to before, is now making me slightly uncomfortable! For example, last Friday, one of the college kids, Ernesto, invited me to walk him to the front of the church during his school nursing capping ceremony. I was honored of course, but being the only white person in the large church, I got a little more attention than I would have liked! Ernesto was a trooper though, and was proud to have his ate (big sis) there to escort him on his special day, and I humbly obliged for a few pictures with people that I do not know!!!

I also forgot how hard it can be to care for the kids here in the children’s home. As I was updated on the happening of the past 2 years, I found myself feeling the way that all the staff feel… sometimes overjoyed and happy because of the success and growth of a kid, but sometimes devastated by news of something sad, or frustrated because you know they can do better! The updates from the past 2 years were a lot to take in, and I found myself still emotionally invested in the lives of all the kids here, which is both a hard feeling, and a blessing at once! The BEST feeling thus far has been that epiphany… Most people in their lives have a family, and then a small group of close friends, and then maybe a large group of fairly distant type of friends. The love that most people feel with this dynamic is great, sure. You know the people you are close to and they know you. But here in a childrens home that love and relationships is multiplied by like 60 or 100. As I was riding in the jeepney, I watched the kids interacting with their houseparents, and it occurred to me that most people in the world do not have a family this big, and do not have this many people who love and care about them! What a blessing it is for me to be part of this huge family, even though I am now far from them! How sweet it is!!! I’ll be sad to leave again, but happy to know that even when I leave, I can still come back for a visit, and it still feels good!! :)

As if I never left...

I am so tired, and I know I am lacking a proper nights sleep for 8 or so days, but still, I am paranoid of decompression sickness from my dives yesterday!! The joint in my left thumb is aching, and im sleepy, and I flew the day after 3 dives!! Although I had about 18 hours between, and the dive computer said im good… I am paranoid! I wonder if they have a recompression chamber in Cagayan just in case…?!?! I’m guessing NO!

It has been a whirwind of a week in the Philippines, and I am starting to feel like I am on the show “Amazing Race” with all these last minute plans, and running here and there!!! Buying tickets at the airport for the next flight out can be a little adrenaline rush! The whirlwind has been amazing though, as I have reunited with old friends and remembered why I love the Philippines so much.

I arrived in the Philippines the evening before my 27th birthday, after being away for almost 2 years! I was very tired, but when I saw the faces of my old Christians’ Haven co-workers I perked right up! Within minutes I felt as though I had never really left them!! We chatted and caught up over a great dinner at the CH college house in the city, and after a sweet little welcome program I spent the night hanging with the college students and reminiscing about years ago. Again, it was as normal and relaxed as if I had never left! The kids woke me up at 4:30am with a birthday serenade (like the old days!). I spent the morning in the city visiting a few old friends, and then headed to Tu-od for a wonderful birthday lunch with all the CH staff!!! They are trying hard to fatten me up again, and I cannot resist the delicious food I have been missing for 2 years! Hanging out and basically doing nothing with the staff and kids proved to be just as fun as it used to be, and then the kids in campus had a cute welcome program for me that made me cry. Then, to end my birthday in perfect Filipino fashion- we hit up some “videoke” in Iligan. Nothing like a small enclosed room, a tv with sing-a-long karaoke with super cheesy backgrounds, bad speakers, and good friends!! Then Ely, Jane, Jerlin, Maam Gumbao, and I slept late in the guest house, like in the old days!!!

Bright and early the next morning I tagged along to a Badjao feeding. This is kinda cool too, because I spent my 23rd or 24th birthday (I can’t remember which) visiting and feeding the Badjao for the first time, long before CH had their outreach there. During my first year in the Philippines I took note of the Badjao people, and had a strong desire to be involved with them somehow. That is when I did the feeding for my birthday with the help of the ladies from CH. About 6 months after that my family came to visit for Christmas and we ventured for the 2nd time into the Badjao neighborhood, which basically started the CH outreach there( feeding, developing relationships, and medical). Although CH continues to foster a relationship with them, the purpose of CH is not the Badjao, and CH cannot help them much further. I have spent much time thinking of how to tackle such a gargantuous problem as the poorest people group in the Philippines. Then, last year during the Global Missions Health Conference I met an organization from India, called Jamked, who has managed to empower a people group similar to the Badjao, and transform their community and lives. I was so inspired by this, but I am not sure if there is a plan in my future to help the Badjao. Currently, CDI (Community Development International, my brother’s NGO) may be interested in something down the line. Who knows what will come of my compassion for the Badjao, but it was nice to visit them once again and start the wheels turning again for how they can be helped, and empowered to help themselves!!

Then early this week I took a spur of the moment trip up to the island of Palawan to see the famous Underground River and hit one of the top scuba sites in the world. Both of which were amazing. I think that the Underground river is on the list to be one of the new "natural wonders of the world", and it lived up to it in my book! The diving in El Nido didn't let me down. I saw so many interesting underwater creatures and beautiful corals, and the highlight was swimming with a school of fish of thousands in number! If i was gentle i could join the school and swim while surrounded by them, and i could also swim into them and they would part for me!! COOOOOL! My max depth was 24 meters this time (78 feet)!!!!!

As of now I am on a bus going back to the main CH campus to hang with old friends and pretend I never left for a few days before another adventure! Sorry no pics, the internet is not that good while traveling on a bumpy bus! Check my FB na lang...